Just ask

Females have ruled the larger percentage of my interactions 
for most of my life.
I have a sister and between her, myself and my Mom, 
my poor Dad was overruled.

I lived with all women in college,
and while always having male friends, 
my female relationships were the most prevalent. 

And like most female friendships, 
we understand each other, 
we can read each other 
with simply a look, 
an energy, 
a tone of voice.

I know when something is wrong
when something is upsetting my best friend, 
or my Mom,
without a word even being spoken.

But as the boy and I have embarked on cohabiting
the past few months
I’ve learned an important fact:
men aren’t mind readers. 

Through trial and error
I’ve learned that I can’t expect 
all my thoughts and concerns 
to be understood,
just simply by the way I look as I walk in the door
and settle on the couch, 
soaking in my worries and desires.

My Mom lived with me for over 18 years; 
why should I expect someone else to be able to know 
that I’m upset about something trivial 
(nothing to wear) 
or craving something random 
(ice cream), 
when it appears that I’m just in a weird, stubborn mood.

The boy knows me deeper 
than I realize most of the time, 
and he knows when I’m stressed out, 
but not what about, 
if I don’t verbalize it.

As the boy gently reminded me last night, 
expressed out of what I imagine can be very frustrating, 
all that is needed, 
is words.
"Just ask."
"Just tell me all."
"Empty yourself out,
you’ll feel better, 
and I’ll feel better knowing."

Men are many things
but they aren’t mind readers, 
and that’s ok.

And on that note...
I let him know that I’d really like his help 
with changing the lightbulbs in the bathroom this weekend.

iPhoto photo taken while hiking in Newport

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